Well, no, this post doesn't have a thing to do with Conscious Uncoupling.   Who needs to hear any more from a pompous celebrity know-it-all anyway?  It's actually about the joy of Spring Cleaning!  I was afraid that if I told the truth, you wouldn't look at the story.  Despite my joy at the coming event,  I am nonetheless shocked to find out that many of you don't---don't---I can scarce type the words, don't like spring cleaning!

It’s officially spring, and your writer is anticipating taking some vacation time away for the SOLE purpose of spring cleaning!  I have a plan and ain't nothing going to stop me from accomplishing all the things in that plan.  This includes plans for the garage and the deck.  If time and weather permit I may wash the siding too.  The only thing that could upset my plans would be a lack of sufficient funds.  But that's another story. Cleaning is not a cheap proposition.

Conventional wisdom suggests most Americans will spring clean their homes, but apparently (and very sadly IMO) that’s just not true. Molly Maid surveyed more than 2,000 homeowners and found that fewer than half of the respondents participate in an annual spring cleaning. (GASP!!)  The survey about house cleaning habits revealed America’s disdain for the chore. Rather than clean their home, 93% of respondents would prefer to do anything else. In fact, 44% of respondents would rather speak in front of a large group – generally, the No. 1 fear of the majority of people – and 30% would opt for a six-hour car ride with their in-laws.

Good Lord.  I can barely BREATHE reading this!  Say it ain't so.

The survey also discovered:

- 80% of respondents indicated women do the majority of home cleaning. (That's just wrong.  C'mon, guys.  Step it up!)

- Cleaning the bathroom is despised by 63% of those surveyed.  (Yeah, it sometimes is a tad gross, but BOY does it look/feel good when you're done.)

- Organizing clothing is considered the most important cleaning task by 44% of participants.  (Thanks to Tonya, I will have a lot of clothes going to Charitable Union this year.  I should have a LOT of closet/drawer space soon.)

37% of respondents change their bed sheets only once per month. (There's a million reasons that's gross.  Change 'ya damn sheets, y'all.)

Now, enough of my domesticated behaviors.  Don't let me down.  DO your spring cleaning.  You'll be a better person for it.

All right.  Time for some real-life adventure.  You may have seen this by now, but it still blows my mind and think it deserves a re-posting here.

Construction Worker’s Impressive Escape from Raging Fire at Houston Apartment Building