We had to put our dog, Madeline down yesterday.

And I don't care how much it was "the right thing to do." it's still a dreadful thing to have to actually accomplish.  We'd watch Maddie, day after day being just miserable and it tore us up.  At the same time, even thinking about taking such a drastic step tears you up as well.

You double, triple think the decision.  You put it off.  You try different medications.  What if I give it two more weeks.   But you know you just don't want to face facts.  You've gone down that road before.  The outcome is still the same.  And despite your best efforts, she's still miserable.

So you make the decision.  You make the phone call.

And then the guilt.  Should I have done more?  Maybe if I spent more money?  Am I being cheap?  What are we going to tell the grandkids?

Maddie was named after my Aunt Madeline.  I had this vision that I would someday have three dachshunds, and name them after my three dear aunts, Madeline, Irene and Beatrice.

And then come the tears.  I'm so grateful to the staff at Dickman Road Vet Clinic.  They are so very gentle.  They made it as easy for me as possible.  I'm just glad I got out of there before I started blubbering.  Gotta keep up that macho image, you know.

And a sincere thanks also to Dr. Pete for his many professional and personal courtesies.  It was a good fight.

So, I think we'll grieve and heal, and probably take a break from pets for a while.  Who knows, maybe someday...