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New Slogans for United Airlines

Protest At O'Hare Airport's United Terminal Over Company's Forceful Removal Of Passenger
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Here’s some fun new slogan’s we’ve heard for United Airlines.

Unless you’ve been stuck on the tarmac all week waiting for your plane to finally take off, you’ve no doubt heard about the United Airlines debacle and seen the video of a Louisville doctor being dragged out of the plane kicking and screaming after the airline told him he was being bumped off the over-booked flight.  We know it’s a serious thing.  A man was hurt.   People are outraged.  The airline’s stock took a hit.  United is apologizing profusely…finally.   And everybody in America is thinking up new slogans.  Here are some we’ve heard:

  • “Our service will knock you out.”  

  • “If you weren’t afraid to fly before, you will be now.”

  • “Where the customer is never right…just beaten.” 

  • “We put the ‘hospital’ in ‘hospitality’.” 

  • “Just imagine how we treat your luggage.” 

  • “United Airlines: Now serving punch.” 

  • “We’ll beat any price….and any customer.”  

  • “You carry on…..we carry off.”  

  • “Early boarding, late boarding, water boarding..it’s all the same to us!.”

  • “Board as a doctor….leave as a patient.

Heard any more?   Let me know and we’ll share them on the radio.

And we hear the airline has some new additions to the script that the flight attendants go over with passengers before each flight:

  • “Keep your feet out of the aisle.  We need dragging room.”
  • Your in-flight entertainment will be a live rendition of “A Clockwork Orange”
  • “Welcome to our new fight club, and express checkout service.”

 

 

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