The Top Excuses for Not Quitting Smoking
You know the well-documented health dangers of smoking . . . ...but that still hasn't stopped you. Now, in the interest of fairness, I do not smoke. Never have. So I DO NOT have any type of appreciation for just how difficult it may be to quit smoking. I applaud you for even considering quitting. I got nothing against you if you smoke either. We are all animals in the eyes of the Lord. We have ALL failed and fallen short. So, smoke or don't smoke, your writer still loves you.
But perhaps others are not as sensitive to your habit as myself. Perhaps you're rather tired of justifying your decision to smoke. It IS YOUR business, after all. Ain't nobody else's, right? Maybe your reason for not quitting can be found on today's list of The Top Excuses for Not Quitting Smoking.
They don't let you leave your desk five times a day to suck on Icebreakers.
You enjoy smelling like a mix of Sean Penn and decay.
Justin Bieber just posted a picture of himself with a cigarette, which means smoking is totally cool again!
Carrying around a pack of Bubblicious just isn't as cool.
Pissing off non-smokers is just way too fun.
You're waiting until January 1st. Of 2040.
What else are you going to do with your spare time? Eat right and exercise?!? Ha-ha!
You need to do something with your time after sex, after meals, and between sex and meals.
Your parents wouldn't let you quit scouts or little league so you learned from an early age not to be a quitter.
You thought about trying Nicorette gum, but you heard that can be addictive.
You've almost got enough Marlboro Miles saved up to fulfill your dream of owning a duffle bag with a corporate logo.