5 Michigan Guys You’ll See Every Fall
We covered the 5 women you'll encounter every time fall begins in Michigan. See that here. Fall hits different (and not necessarily in a good way) for guys. See which of these men best describe your guy friends.
#1 Rifle Rick
There's at least one in every family. The guy talking about Deer Hunting season since July. He drops into Williams Gunsight & Outfitters in Davison, weekly... just to "see what's new." Every year, "Rifle Rick" has his license before anyone else. Only his best friends are invited to the blind (and an in-law for peace-keeping at home). These friends will hunt a bit, have beer (likely PBR) and tell stories of the biggest buck they ever did see. (Nobody knows if those stories are true.) Getting the most out of the season means having a "no luck this weekend" strategy to "get a break from the 'ole lady." Eventually, there will be a venison dinner and if you're lucky, venison jerky fresh from the smoker.
#2 Bro-Out Brody
Brody loves to "bro-out" no matter the season -- hence his nickname. He's especially fond of fall & winter because he can wear button downs or cable-knit heavy sweaters. No matter what, there's always a "party in Detroit this weekend." He says things like "We goin' out to find some ladies this weekend, bro? It's cuddle season and I need to meet some ladies. C'mon bro! Let's goooooo!" It's possible he owns a hoodie that says "I'd Cuddle You So Hard." Brody is harmless, and despite the overuse of "bro," always brings positive energy.
#3 Smoker Sam
Smoker Sam isn't smoking cigarettes or anything else. He is smoking ALL of the meats because it's fall. Perfect weather for making smoked foods for tailgating, holiday parties, or weekend hang-outs for college football with neighbors. Sam is similar to "Pumpkin Spice Princess" (learn more about her, here) he's never met a meat or food that shouldn't be smoked "low & slow" for 10+ hours. Also, his smoker is better than yours--it has blue-tooth so he can monitor progress from anywhere. If Mee-Maw is over for the holidays, she'll insist the food is "too good Sammy... you need to open a restaurant." I'll be damned if his food doesn't live up to the hype, though!
#4 Football Finn
Every. Single. Weekend. Finn is having everyone over to watch "the game." Every circle of friends has a Finn (Big 10, SEC, MAC, PAC... you get the idea). Finn is a great host--he provides the food & snacks. You "bring whatever you want to drink." He insists on wearing the jersey he got in college 10 years ago... for every game ("it's good luck for the boys"). Finn is most excited the college playoffs will be expanded "it can't happen soon enough!" The incessant stat-sharing is somewhat annoying, but tolerable. People realized, after a couple of years they "have to pick up the kids" if the team is behind at the end of the third quarter--Finn gets irrationally angry, then.
Pro-Tip for dealing with Football Finn -- Don't mention the Michigan loss to Appalachian State, ever. And don't mention how you miss 'The Great Divide" on Miller Road. He'll go off.
#5 The Grumplin
This guy is usually someone's grandpa. Grandma thinks he's cute like a Gremlin and the rest of the family thinks he's grumpy this time of year. They refer to him as "Grumplin." He insists fall is the end of enjoyment until spring. Why? He can't go up north "fishin' on the lake" or hang out at the cabin. Grumplin refuses to ice fish and doesn't care about sports. So, don't bother inviting him to a game or watch party. In fact, the only time you'll see him smile is watching "Wheel." Don't try to ruin "Wheel" by solving the puzzle before him -- He needs the "win" -- that's all he has! <--Sarcasm
Look at these galleries from around Michigan!