You have a very important decision coming up in your life right now. Halloween is approaching and even though there is still some question as to how treats will be distributed this COVID Halloween season, one thing is clear - tricks can be distributed to those who fail to please. I'm trying to save you and your home this Halloween by simply guiding you to the right treats and helping you avoid the treats that will get you on the tricks hit list.

They'll disguise this as "classic" candy but don't be fooled. Here is the candy you need to avoid to keep the peace:

Bit O' Honey Bars - Not sure what Bit-O-Honey's are made of but wax paper is definitely a key ingredient - at least that's what I think. I'm not a big fan of honey or bees.

Circus Peanuts - Think what eating a handful of Styrofoam packing peanuts would taste like. Only these packing peanuts are orange and flavored with an artificial banana flavor.  This confectionery candy has been around since 1910 and was once sold individually at Five & Dime stores (whatever those are) You'd be better off giving out packing peanuts in Ziplock bags.

Jujyfruits - A chewy gumdrop like candy that's been around since the 1920s (and sometimes taste like it) this candy will not only draw confused looks but looks of anger when the kids realize that once the gumdrop sticks to your teeth it never comes off. I've had a raspberry gumdrop stuck to the back of my tooth since 1978.  Best to let the gumdrops harden and use as decorative gravel in your flower beds.

Zero Bars - It's wrapped in disgusting white chocolate, yes....white chocolate. WHO does that to a candy bar??? Nothing else needs to be said.

Keep in mind the commentary on all the above products are completely mine and personal taste is always subjective but don't say I didn't warn ya to get large size Snickers, M&M's, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for your trick or treat this year because anything less may cost ya.




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