The Top Best Things About Being Poor

While my title may be catchy and witty, the truth is, that there is NOTHING "best" about being poor.

Poor is a terrible place to be. There for the Grace of God, go I. And while in a philosophical mood I got to reflecting on that fact of life. It began after we shared a story about Bill Gates on a recent Morning Show.

Bill Gates is once again the Richest Man in the World . . . with a net worth of $76 BILLION.

$76 BILLION!! That takes that whole "lottery fantasy" that I wrote about yesterday to absolutely insane levels.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't hate him for being rich. An intelligent and hard working man is he. Congratulations. Right product, right place, right time. Good on ya.

I suppose one COULD make a decision to be bitter about their current station in life, but what good would that do? Getting mad won't make you richer or him any less so. Instead, let's take the Karen Reeves approach, and make lemonade out of life's lemons. Let's keep our sunny sides up. Let's laugh, so the whole world will laugh with us. (Okay, I'll stop...I'm making myself sick)

Sure, we all know just how GREAT it would be to be RICH. But let's take a look at the Best Things About Being Poor!

You don't need to be good at math to figure out that your salary (minus) your expenses (equals) you're screwed.

Know how some people collect cars? You can do the same with late-payment notices.

You have something in common with everyone else in Obama's America.

With enough ketchup, Spam is delicious.

When you get tired of your neighborhood, you can drive your home to another one.

You're a fashion icon whenever Jordache jeans are back in style.

Since you can't afford the Internet, you can't join Facebook. Since you're not on Facebook, you can't see your mom's half-naked selfies.

Cars made after 2000 have a lot fewer parts that can be fixed with duct tape.

You never get that weird nerve-pinch from sitting too long on a fat wallet.

Not having Internet porn keeps your imagination sharp.

In the long run, it's better for the evolution of the human race not to blow money on insulin, and just let your diabetes figure ITSELF out.

As long as you can scrounge up 23 cents, you can still afford a delicious case of Sam's Club cola.

Psychiatrists agree . . . there's no better way to bond with your kids than planning a family excursion to steal the hubcaps off an '89 Hyundai.

There's just something life-affirming about spending the day whipping empty Coors Light cans at the rich snobs coming out of Kmart.

You can still afford to get your haircut at the same place Bill Gates does.

Forget an expensive gym membership. Everyone knows the best way to get in shape is by wrestling your dog for a chicken bone.

Doing your taxes takes, like, 37 seconds.

You meet some of the nicest people at Coinstar.

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